Everybody's trusting in their heart like their heart don't lie.

I have so many feelings right now that I'm completely numb. I am in overload and can't necessarily process the emotion. I thought zoning out to my favorite songs would help. But each chorus keeps disappearing before I can mentally grasp it. And somehow, in my brain, I keep singing along with each verse...but the words are fleeting. 

"Is something wrong?" they keep asking. "Everything," I think. But "Nothing," I reply. And smile. 

I have this thing, where no matter how much I am hurting, I can't ever tell the person that is hurting me. I don't want them to feel the hurt I'm experiencing, so I graze over it. I realize this is extremely dysfunctional. And is probably the reason my heart is completely stitched and patched back together from its multiple massacres. 

I took a shower, and it warmed up my outsides, but inwards, I'm still ice cold. So, today, I'm just content with feeling numb. Cause that's the only word I can use to describe this right now. 

You're waiting here for somebody else to break you from the inside/you've been so composed/we all know there's always something tearing you apart/it's always so much longer than you counted on/and it hits you so much harder than you thought/but you don't worry, you don't worry/cause you've got soul.