Foreclosure Property.

Infomercials really become addicting. I think my apartment watches the TV Guide channel more than any other channel - mainly because we get sucked into the infomercials.

Today, I fell asleep reading a chapter assignment for one of my classes. And ended up sleeping through the class. Oy. What a great thing to do. Now I have to email the professor and apologize. I hate when ridiculous things happen like this.

My dad was here this weekend. It was pretty good, really. And now I get to move into Alene's house when they move out, which is great. Except it means Alene and Andrew are moving. Which seriously kills me. I don't want them to go. They are my best friends. And I hate not being able to spend as much time there as I used to. I can't believe they are moving though. To be honest, I wish I was going with them. I think it's going to be really really hard.

I better get to bed now I guess. School is going well. Just busy is all.

In the Airport.

There is a Starbucks in the airport. Too bad I am on a stinking diet, or I would totally indulge. I liked Phoenix, it was a good time. Back to Reality though. School starts tomorrow, who knows how I feel about that. It is probably cold in Idaho. I hope I don't miss the bus at 10 and have to wait until noon to catch the next one. That could totally suck.

My stomach is in some serious turmoil. I don't like traveling too much. And I am not a morning person. Bad commbo if you ask me.

All is well though. I made a traveling playlist and synced it to my ipod last night. How absolutely witty of me.

More to come.

Hot Tamale!

So, Neely gave me tamales from her little espanol members. And I ate one - and it was good. But now I feel icky icky icky.

In other news: kissing for 80 minutes burns 100 calories. It takes 3500 calories burned to burn a gram of fat. That means making out for almost 2 days straight will burn a gram of fat.

I'm in! :)
Hahahahaha.

Was I On Your Mind?

I have a feeling my blogging is going to get out of control. Meaning, I am going to become addicted to talking about myself and my feelings. Meaning, I will be more selfish than I already am now. Except I am not very selfish at all to be honest. Except sometimes. Okay, but really, who isn't that selfish (and still in college)?
Anyways.

I should probably go to bed.
I should also more intensly contemplate the decisions I am making in my life.
Going out with Neely and her comp tonight really gave me perspective into what I have in my life. Seriously. I am like one of the luckiest people I know.

I rarely think about my past decisions in a negative way, because I feel like it is pointless to brood over things you cannot change. And rarely do I look back at my life with regret. But when I was sitting there tonight listening to them teach investigators, I couldn't help but feel this pang inside about how that could be me changing people's lives. I could have been out for almost 6 months now. I know alot of people didn't think I would ever go on a mission. But I really wanted to. And I definitely wish I hadn't made the dumb decisions I did in my past. Things would have meant so much more to me now had I never done certain things back then.

I used to think had I never experienced what I term "those years" that I would never have gotten to where I am now. Looking back, had I just been stronger, I would definitely have surpassed where I am at now. I could be so much more. And if it hadn't been for Neely, I doubt I would have reached this point. And if it hadn't been especially for my mom and her constant understanding, I wouldn't have wanted to figure out my life. And had it not been for Alene and her husband taking me in and encouraging me to go to BYU-Idaho, I wouldn't have found out who I am supposed to be. Three miraculous women. I owe them so much more than I could ever say.

With all this gratitude, I am going to head to bed.
I am not sure if any of them know about or even read this silly blog.
But if by chance one day they do, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Show Me Everything You've Got.

Day 4 of Tempe Vacation:
I may have gotten a little over crispified yesterday. So I've spent most of the day inside paying bills and such. I am so freaking poor now. I payed tuition and rent. And I am basically crying into my sack cloth because I have no money. Tragic! I guess I need to contact my work and tell them that 3 of my paychecks are missing. And turn in my time card to Tuscany. There's almost a thousand dollars, which will make me feel better.

Aloe vera will probably also help me feel better. And help me not to look like a freaking lobster. Also taking off my ridiculously hot laptop from my scorched legs will probably ease the discomfort.

I rarely get burnt. But when I do, it's usually because I don't wear sunscreen. Hahaha. Oops! (Don't tell Neely, she'll massacre me!)

Speaking of Neely! I get to see her again tonight and go on splits with the sisters. I have never really done missionary type work, so this will be interesting! Other intersting things:
I have a ridiculous tanline from my jimmy eat world concert entrance bracelet.
I have a tanline on my finger from a ring - but I haven't worn a ring on that finger in over a year.
I like country musica more and more and more.
This morning I was talking in Spanish to myself. And nobody was around to answer. So I was answering. True story.

I Love Love.

So, I completed the semester. In the midst of writing 2 ten page papers, taking 4 exams in 2 days and completing 18 credits worth of courses, I survived. I did very well on both my papers - 100% to be exact. That probably was the highlight of my month...until this week.

Saturday I saw the one and only Jimmy Eat World. It was beautiful. Euphoric. I absolutely love Jimmy Eat World. The following is a beautiful picture from the concert:


Sunday I jetted off to lovely Phoenix to see my beautiful Michelle. Since then I have spent every day sleeping in, lazing by the pool soaking up some Arizona sunshine, and listening to good music (notice my emphasis on good). I have also taken up this running thing, which I hear is really good for you. Unfortunately I waited until 10pm to run last night and thus had an ever-increasing fear of being raped as I was jogging along their cute little neighborhood. I promptly returned to the house a bit dissatisfied with my brief attempt at exercising. Not to fear though, I have been keeping a very regular schedule of it, and one day will be cute again. I am almost positive it will happen. Soon.

Today I got to see my best friend since 7th grade. And when I mean best friend, I mean other half of me. Seriously. She is serving a mission in the Tempe, Arizona Spanish Speaking and I got to have her over to Michelle's for dinner! Obviously hilarity ensued. I freaking miss her so much! But I think tomorrow I am going on an exchange with her, which should be an intersting experience. Seriously, I am so stoked I got to see her. I credit that girl for saving my life, literally. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be at this point right now - I wouldn't even be halfway to where I am at. Seriously, I love her more than words. As a bonus, she is how I befriended Preston...and we see how well that turned out :)

Here are lovely pictures with my babymomma loverbuns:
Neely and her companion

Neely is apparently Muslim now

BEST FRIENDS!

Bye Hermana Tompkins!

Yeah. So basically life is freaking amazing. Seriously. I feel like everyday is love and sunshine baby. Maybe it's the warm weather. Maybe it's because I have amazing friends and a declious boyfriend (on hold). Or maybe it's because I feel so carefree. Either way, I can't stop smiling because most likely it's all of these things. I love it!

My Two Cents.

1. Stop being stupid.
Harsh you say? Well yes. But the harshness doesn’t change the fact that it is reality. As a guy, you know that usually what you do and say are not perceived to be rational, logical, or appropriate. If what you do or say you should not do or say, you need to take a step back. You should recognize that you probably don’t treat those around you the way you need to. So since you recognize it, stop. Stop being stupid. It is the fact that you realize something and don’t fix it that seals your stupidity to a horrifying emotional block. “But it’s harder to change than that.” Of course it is. Things in this life worth having are worth the sacrifice. Make it.

2. Follow through.
I hate nothing more than a guy who says he is going to do something and then doesn’t. Do not make promises you do not intend to keep. And do not use the fact that you never keep your promises as a justifier for your poor follow-through. If you do not intend to actually do what you say you are going to do, DO NOT SAY IT. It really is not that hard.

3. Find your flaws. Admit your mistakes.
Everybody notices at least something in themselves they don’t like and consequently notice others don’t like it as well. Once you find this flaw, do not enable it to surface more and more. Find a way to fix it. If you happen to like your flaw, you should really examine why you feel that way. Perfection is not needed here. But don’t be content with imperfection in yourself. You should have more self-respect for that. Don’t let yourself drag yourself down. In the same turn, if you make a mistake, acknowledge it. Apologize for it. Provide recompense for it. And have the sense to move on.

4. Don’t be judgmental.
Since you obviously are not perfect, expecting perfection is a very hypocritical trait to exhibit. Girls especially are perceptive to critique – and because of this are more prone to critique their critic. It’s a vicious cycle. Break it. It is not your job to point out the flaws in others. It is damaging and often the flaw you find will become a deep source of insecurity for whomever you point it out in. Don’t hurt those you care about. Focus instead on number 3; once your flaws are removed, then be my guest to judge.

5. Be open.
Don’t expect somebody to be an open book when you are so shut and locked its like you’re super-glued shut. Everybody has issues. Everybody likes privacy. And there is a mental line that doesn’t need to be crossed in a simple friendship. But if you cross it, you can’t expect her to not cross it as well. And when she hits that lock and can’t open it, she’ll become frustrated. And your friendship will become increasingly more frustrated. So don’t broach the line. And if you broach it, don’t cross it. And if you cross it, be prepared for the consequences. Dissatisfaction only results from your inability to reciprocate in this situation.

6. Don’t blur the lines of friendship.
NCMO. Friends with benefits. Hooking up. All these things lead to the same result: one person ends up with more feelings than the other and the friendship is screwed, if not forever, then for a good amount of time. Kissing is not worth screwing up with a person you supposedly call a friend. If you care about her feelings at all you will not kiss her. And if you like her, you will ask her on a date and if the date goes well, then you may kiss her. But kissing friends is not healthy in any situation. To any party involved. Avoid it. Seriously.

7. Be who you are.
Don’t be deceptive. If somebody doesn’t like you for who you are (flaws and everything), then it is their problem and you need to move on. Gaining new interests and perspectives is a great way to grow. But feigning new interests and perspectives is a surefire way to get yourself into a load of trouble, because sooner or later girls will see through the façade and their disappointment at your dishonesty will outweigh any feelings (be they friendship or whatever) they may have for you.

8. Be respectful.
This is possibly the most important thing to emphasize. And I mean being respectful more in the physical aspect of this rather than in the mental sense. If you can’t be with somebody without crossing the line, don’t be with that person. If you can’t think nice things about somebody, don’t think about that person. If you see a situation arising where respect could be thrown out the window, avoid the situation. Respect, once lost, becomes increasingly difficult to gain back. “My good opinion once lost is lost forever.” (Darcy, Pride and Prejudice really knew what he was talking about). Don’t let it get to that point. Give respect and demand respect in return. Friendships and relationships work so much better this way.

9. Set goals. Achieve them.
Make sure you are constantly going somewhere and reaching towards something. Stagnation is the biggest turn-off. Aim higher than you can reach. Fear of failure may be a crippling factor, but never trying because of that fear is an awful shame.

10. Be honest.
I don’t like liars. Most people don’t. Honesty may hurt. But catching somebody in a lie hurts worse and much longer. It is better to hurt for a moment than to hurt for a lifetime. Just be honest.

11. Lastly, apply the Mirror.
Others see you so differently than you see yourself. When I look at you I see potential in every single inch. I see so many things that you can do and so many talents that you have. I also see some serious things you need to work on. Be willing to accept compliments. Be willing to accept the criticism and apply it where you see fit. Be willing to be the person that others see you as.
In the same turn, be the mirror for others. Allow yourself to express to those you are close to how you see them. Give them the opportunity to be raised up by you. Those around you will never know how you feel until you tell them. Expressing emotion is not a sign of weakness. It is a serious strength of character.

So it is, just like it should be.

I slept much more today than I intended. Anyways. After sleeping for years I decided to go on a walk with the roommates. It all started well and dandy except it began to hail and then the wind decided to blow the hail all over us. Walking home was absolutely awful. As soon as we got inside, the hail ceased and the sun came out. Isn't it ironic, don't you think? A little too ironic, yeah I really do think.

I am so tired from sleeping all day that I am ready for a nap.
But I have a hundred million things to do. Somehow I am 20 quizzes behind in my physical science class. As well as needing to take an exam and the final by thursday. I have two labs left to do in my physical science lab. And I have an Old Testament paper, 25 scriptures to memorize, as well as 8 lessons to make up in that class. I have an American Literature final exam to study for and a paper due in Advanced Lit. I have so much to do. It's a wonder I am not freaking out. Because any normal person would be freaking out. But here I am, sitting on the couch, listening to my roommate and her fiance do her homework, and I just keep typing away at this little blog like I don't have a care in the world.

But I do have a care in the world. Rexburg is taking its toll on me. I don't even know why I am in such a hurry to get my degree. I will have done 4 years of schooling in less than 3, which is out of control. I hope whomever I marry appreciates the sacrifice I am making on his behalf. Basically, now all I can think about is how excited I am for Arizona in one week...well actually thats what I think about to stop thinking about something else.

Anyways, I am conflicted and confused and really grumpy. I hate living with this sense of doubt about things. I hate being disappointed. I guess what they say is true: ignorance is bliss. I keep trying to get over it, but the more I think about it the more I think about it, and the more that happens I just start feeling badly.

If I had to pick one scene from any movie to describe exactly how I feel, this one is it. Most definitely.

Seriously? Seriously.

Facebook causes a lot of drama. While it is good for things like stalking, it is not so good for hiding things...or hiding from things. For instance. If I didn't want to know that my boyfriend's exgirlfriend is getting married and that may or may not be the reason he decided to settle on me, I shouldn't have looked at facebook. Or if I didn't want to notice that our relationship status is removed from his facebook page - which is irritating, because why make such a big deal about putting it on facebook in the first place - I shouldn't have looked at facebook. Or if I didn't want to be invited to 20 groups announcing the engagement and marriage of practically everybody I know...I should stay off facebook.

I tend to have a love-hate relationship with facebook. Normally, I actually really like it. But today my love-hate relationship with facebook is moreso on the hate side. It actually has been on the hate side for almost three weeks now. Ever since the incident. Yes, because of facebook the incident occurred. And because of the incident I hate facebook. I blame her completely. Maybe. I think its the fact that I blame him when I really shouldn't that makes this all so complicated and hard to get over. Sigh.

In other news, I just realized that I do not hate cats. I think I have a fear of cats either biting me or clawing me. They are very unpredictable. Which is probably why I enjoy dogs more. They tend to be much more mellow, except when they have rabies. Then they are out of control. Speaking of rabies - worst movie ever award goes to Old Yeller. That movie haunted me for years. YEARS! That and ET are the worst children's movies ever created. Sick people live in this world. Sick sick people.

I think I am emo. I have tried really hard to stop being emo since high school. I even cut my side-bangs into blunt, straight-across bangs. But I guess it didn't work. Ugh. Now I am just some emo blob with barbie bangs. Fantastic.

In other news, today I spilled a whole kettle full of soup on the floor and myself today at work. To make matters worse it was spoiled because I forgot to turn the kettle on this morning and it was milky and curdling. I don't know what I did to deserve that, but I guess I am becoming the proxy for other people's bad karma. Or perhaps I am just a clutz. My emo ways tend to lean more towards the former. Unless I am not emo, then I just shouldn't have given up ballet and gained a bit more grace.

Enough of this. I think I will now go play spider solitaire. If I fail this semester due to lack of studying for finals and incompletion of work, at least I'll be pacified to know that I spent the last weekend of winter semester successfully beating my own high score in a friggin card game.

This blog is useless. The end.

I decided since I am such a big deal that I'd create a blog to pacify the surmounting desire for the masses to read about my extremely dull and boring life. And sometimes, if you are lucky, in the midst of all the monotony, a rare jewel of humor and intrigue will surface. Unlikely, yes. But maybe.

Since it is 3:30 am, I really have very few thoughts to offer. But the few I do have are as follows:
1) I am a very funny person.
2) I dislike people unable to face confrontation.
3) Secretly, as of about 12 hours ago, I have become obsessed with country music.
4) Wallyball has caused an odd egg-shaped bruise to surface on my left arm.
5) After 1am I unfortunately tend to curse like a truck driver for no reason at all.
6) The position I am laying in has caused a severe cramp to surface in the back of my neck.
7) My room is absolutely filthy.
8) I need to still do my taxes. I tried last night and got all kinds of confused.
9) I may potentially be a stalker.
10) When I close my eyes, I feel like I am floating. But not in a delightful way. More in a "I am stuck floating in a bowl of petroleum jelly" way. I think this signals my need to sleep (but I should possibly attempt at doing so with my eyes open).

Probably more humdrum tomorrow. Since, you know, I only have about a thousand things to do instead. Oh well, it'll give me a break from facebook.