My Two Cents.

1. Stop being stupid.
Harsh you say? Well yes. But the harshness doesn’t change the fact that it is reality. As a guy, you know that usually what you do and say are not perceived to be rational, logical, or appropriate. If what you do or say you should not do or say, you need to take a step back. You should recognize that you probably don’t treat those around you the way you need to. So since you recognize it, stop. Stop being stupid. It is the fact that you realize something and don’t fix it that seals your stupidity to a horrifying emotional block. “But it’s harder to change than that.” Of course it is. Things in this life worth having are worth the sacrifice. Make it.

2. Follow through.
I hate nothing more than a guy who says he is going to do something and then doesn’t. Do not make promises you do not intend to keep. And do not use the fact that you never keep your promises as a justifier for your poor follow-through. If you do not intend to actually do what you say you are going to do, DO NOT SAY IT. It really is not that hard.

3. Find your flaws. Admit your mistakes.
Everybody notices at least something in themselves they don’t like and consequently notice others don’t like it as well. Once you find this flaw, do not enable it to surface more and more. Find a way to fix it. If you happen to like your flaw, you should really examine why you feel that way. Perfection is not needed here. But don’t be content with imperfection in yourself. You should have more self-respect for that. Don’t let yourself drag yourself down. In the same turn, if you make a mistake, acknowledge it. Apologize for it. Provide recompense for it. And have the sense to move on.

4. Don’t be judgmental.
Since you obviously are not perfect, expecting perfection is a very hypocritical trait to exhibit. Girls especially are perceptive to critique – and because of this are more prone to critique their critic. It’s a vicious cycle. Break it. It is not your job to point out the flaws in others. It is damaging and often the flaw you find will become a deep source of insecurity for whomever you point it out in. Don’t hurt those you care about. Focus instead on number 3; once your flaws are removed, then be my guest to judge.

5. Be open.
Don’t expect somebody to be an open book when you are so shut and locked its like you’re super-glued shut. Everybody has issues. Everybody likes privacy. And there is a mental line that doesn’t need to be crossed in a simple friendship. But if you cross it, you can’t expect her to not cross it as well. And when she hits that lock and can’t open it, she’ll become frustrated. And your friendship will become increasingly more frustrated. So don’t broach the line. And if you broach it, don’t cross it. And if you cross it, be prepared for the consequences. Dissatisfaction only results from your inability to reciprocate in this situation.

6. Don’t blur the lines of friendship.
NCMO. Friends with benefits. Hooking up. All these things lead to the same result: one person ends up with more feelings than the other and the friendship is screwed, if not forever, then for a good amount of time. Kissing is not worth screwing up with a person you supposedly call a friend. If you care about her feelings at all you will not kiss her. And if you like her, you will ask her on a date and if the date goes well, then you may kiss her. But kissing friends is not healthy in any situation. To any party involved. Avoid it. Seriously.

7. Be who you are.
Don’t be deceptive. If somebody doesn’t like you for who you are (flaws and everything), then it is their problem and you need to move on. Gaining new interests and perspectives is a great way to grow. But feigning new interests and perspectives is a surefire way to get yourself into a load of trouble, because sooner or later girls will see through the façade and their disappointment at your dishonesty will outweigh any feelings (be they friendship or whatever) they may have for you.

8. Be respectful.
This is possibly the most important thing to emphasize. And I mean being respectful more in the physical aspect of this rather than in the mental sense. If you can’t be with somebody without crossing the line, don’t be with that person. If you can’t think nice things about somebody, don’t think about that person. If you see a situation arising where respect could be thrown out the window, avoid the situation. Respect, once lost, becomes increasingly difficult to gain back. “My good opinion once lost is lost forever.” (Darcy, Pride and Prejudice really knew what he was talking about). Don’t let it get to that point. Give respect and demand respect in return. Friendships and relationships work so much better this way.

9. Set goals. Achieve them.
Make sure you are constantly going somewhere and reaching towards something. Stagnation is the biggest turn-off. Aim higher than you can reach. Fear of failure may be a crippling factor, but never trying because of that fear is an awful shame.

10. Be honest.
I don’t like liars. Most people don’t. Honesty may hurt. But catching somebody in a lie hurts worse and much longer. It is better to hurt for a moment than to hurt for a lifetime. Just be honest.

11. Lastly, apply the Mirror.
Others see you so differently than you see yourself. When I look at you I see potential in every single inch. I see so many things that you can do and so many talents that you have. I also see some serious things you need to work on. Be willing to accept compliments. Be willing to accept the criticism and apply it where you see fit. Be willing to be the person that others see you as.
In the same turn, be the mirror for others. Allow yourself to express to those you are close to how you see them. Give them the opportunity to be raised up by you. Those around you will never know how you feel until you tell them. Expressing emotion is not a sign of weakness. It is a serious strength of character.