After a lot of thinking, prayer, more thinking, fights, more thinking, more prayer, some fasting, and some more thinking, "talking" to Preston, discussing with my family and sleeping on it, I have decided. I got what I was looking for when I went to Idaho. It isn't where I need to be anymore. Does that suck? Yes. I have amazing friends. A very cool house. A cute little dog. More importantly, 2 semesters of school left. Is it going to be hard to leave? Much harder than any of you will ever know.
When I fly back on Friday I will pack up my things, move out of my apartment, pack up my house, sell anything and everything and move back to New Jersey.
I've never really relied on my family for anything. I guess God thinks it is time I do. Who knows, maybe I can help them while they are helping me.
I just hate being the one to leave - because I feel like it is me that gets left behind.
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oh my beautiful, beautiful Jenna. I know similar feelings. I will pray for you. Please know i am only a phone call, an email, a blog, or whatever away. I know we were never close, so I wont pretend we "suddenly are" but i can understand the "not needing the family, but suddenly relying on them" thing. I can also understand feeling as though you are being left behind when you leave...the "if i am not there i am forgotten...i will fade away feeling" I LOVE YOU! please know that. i have been thinking about you A LOT lately.
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