A few weeks before I told Scotty I was filing for divorce, he unfriended me on Facebook. I thought that was pretty ridiculous, seeing as we were married, but have since just let it go. This morning, though, I went to click on his mom, Amy's page and look through some of her pictures to just remember her. And it said we weren't friends. I sat there a little surprised. I didn't expect Scotty to go that far.
I recognize when people are hurt that instead of owning their actions, it is easier to lie or place blame on other people. That explains the things I was told last night about what he has been saying. But no matter how angry or upset he is with me right now, he cannot erase the relationship I had with his mom. Unfriending me from her facebook account isn't going to change that. Facebook is not real life. And Amy is gone. You can't erase the the past.
When I first asked for the divorce he told me to give him everything Amy ever gave me. All of it. Because I was no longer family. I was dead to him. Nonexistent. I made my choice and I was no longer a part of their family. I knew the words were coming before he ever said them to me, because he warned me before we got married that would hapen if we were to ever get divorced. And when I hung up the phone after he said that to me I was so angry and hurt and I didn't want to give him any of it back. He eventually told me to keep them, but at this point it doesn't matter. Because I realized I have something that Scotty does not have right now. Eternal perspective.
I never thought whether one person had an eternal perspective and one did not mattered in a marriage. But it does, and I didn't see it until the day I asked for divorce. Scotty, who doesn't believe in God, thinks this life is it. Death is the end. So her things are important to him because that is all he has left of her. He only has memories and nothing to look forward to. I know there is a God and I know I will see Amy again.
Eternal perspective also gives us conscience and guidance. I know there are eternal consequences for my actions and a purpose for my life. I have direction and a goal. I didn't realize how hopeless life can be without that. My entire life I have worked hard to improve and better myself. Because I want to be the best person I be. It all boils down to eternal perspective.
So I've decided to not be upset about being unfriended. Because you can't unfriend memories. And I can't care if my name is dragged through the mud in a town I no longer live in by people I won't ever see again. I know the truth. God knows the truth. And at this point, it just doesn't matter.
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