Hypocrite.

I have memories of you written down in your own words. They are our future as seen from your eyes. Through your lips. With your promises.

You didn't break the promises.
But I can't understand why they are broken.

I am still broken.
All weekend I tried to fix myself.
And if I think loud enough I don't think about this.

But here's the thing: constantly trying to avoid something means you think about it more. The more you try to not think about it, the more you consciously make an effort to think about something, anything else. And in thinking about something, anything else, you remind yourself why you are thinking about it. Instead of planning your future. The one you told me about with your own lips. The one we thought about for 2 years. The one that got me through anything and everything and made me strong.

The one that won't happen.
And the one that broke me.
And now I am planning a future for me. But I don't know who that is without you.

I'm pathetic. But prideful. So I won't ever let you know how much this hurts.