A clean getaway

I love Grey's. There are very few things I 100% relate to. This show, as stupid as it sounds, is one of those few things.I wish I could change so many things: my temper, my irrational reaction to things, my constant need to be needed. I wish I could be different. I hate that I recognize my flaws, yet feel complacent in them. I wish so many things were different. Mostly I wish I were different. Because laying on the couch living vicariously through a TV show is hardly cutting it. Life changes in a blink. So I need to stop closing my eyes so tight, afraid of what I'll see and let change come as it may. I crave change. That's why I'm so terrified of it