Jibber-jabber.

It's been an interesting past few days. My brain has been in a fog or haze or...stupor? Sometimes I think I get so overwhelmed by emotions that I tend to shift into autopilot so that I don't go insane. I don't mean to, it just happens. And then I perseverate on the things I want to think about until I literally can't remember how I've gotten from point A to point B. 

There are moments in my life that I can recall instantly. Some of them were even moments that, at the time, seemed completely insignificant, but for whatever the reason, have become huge milestones for me. Then there have been moments that have happened where I knew immediately I would never forget it. Those are much rarer for me. But this morning there was a moment where I just knew, without a doubt, that I'd never forget that look or that feeling. 

And when I truly think back on my life, I realize there is so much to forget. And I spend so much time trying to forget that I tend to forget the importance of remembering. So it makes me appreciate just that much more those striking, lightning-bolt moments that will forever imprint in my mind. 

I spend a lot of time living for other people. And just in a single week, choosing to truly live for myself and feel everything I am feeling without hiding behind it has been such an intense and eye-opening experience. I sincerely hope I am brave enough to continue with it. But I think each day is filled with a thousand different choices, and as long as I keep choosing, I'll progress even when I fail. 

At this point I'm so exhausted I'm uncertain if my thoughts are honestly making any sense. So, goodnight.